d. we'll see you here next week. have a good night. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- robert downey jr. >> i've been saying your name all day. >> jimmy: why? >> just because. what are you doing today? jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: what do you want for christmas? >> i want justin beeber in my stocking. >> dicky: and lenny kravitz. >> jimmy: are you coming onto me? because i can be had. up know the plastic spikes you put on top of your roof to keep the pigeons away? turns out, those are a very effective way to keep your

>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a message about these. the reebok real flex training shoe. you want to be in the best shape? wear these. but instead of sitting here telling you about them i would rather show you with the help of my friends norm mcdonald and adam carolla who are in the middle of a very heated podcast argument. >> football athletes are the best in the world. >> hockey players are the best. >> peyton manning is a great athlete. >> peyton manning is the greatest football player in the world. bobby orr, the greatest athlete in the world. >> i'm going to have to ask you to leave. >> leave? >> i'm bidding you adieu. good day! >> hey guys. i have an idea. you play football. you play hockey. why don't you play fockey?

>> fockey? >> fockey? >> fockey? >> i know, right? fockey? >> fockey! ready, set fockey! >> woo! fockey! >> next fockey. >> what are you looking at? come on! >> fockey again. >> nice fockey. >> yeah! oh, fockey! yeah! >> icing. >> there's no icing in fockey. >> woo hoo!

yeah! >> man, that was one heck of a fockey game. and i know fockey. >> i have one thing to say and that's you're a fine fockey player adam, and better luck next time. >> what do you mean? i won this time. >> i crushed you. >> guillermo! >> yeah? >> who won? >> who won what? >> fockey. >> what is fockey? >> fockey. football and hockey you made it up. >> oh, sometimes i make things up. it's okay, guys. >> sometimes you make -- i'm calling my agent. >> here. i'm calling my agent, too. >> dicky: the reebok real flex. it's the shoe for you. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with robert downey jr. and lenny kravitz.

♪ ♪ here ...this is my world. this place inspires me... ...to be tougher... ...to stay sharper... ...to think faster. they may be just streets to you... ...but to me... ...they're a playground. ♪ never stop loving you ♪

♪ 'cause i'm alive, ♪ sign and drive the fiat 500 pop, for $199 a month. with zero down and zero due at signing, for well qualified lessees. it's so nice to spend time, just you and me. i know. this is great. you know, i feel like... did you just check the game on your phone? what? no! what am i, like some kind of summoner who can just summon footage to his phone like that? come on. i guess i'm just a little... [ grunts ] oversensitive. it's just that you and i -- yes! [ male announcer ] only at&t's network lets your iphone download 3x faster. at&t. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"

tonight -- robert downey jr. and lenny kravitz. with cleto and the cletones. and now, in case you didn't hear, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. well, that's very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. thank you for taking time away from standing in line at target to buy your nephew a remote control flying shark to be here. hey, we have, here at the show, we have our annual christmas party after the show tonight, which is always a mistake. [ laughter ] not so much a holiday party as it is a festival of dry humping. [ laughter ]

dry humping and dry heaving. you know those plastic spikes you put on top of your roof to keep the pigeons away? turns out, those are a very effective way to keep your employees from having sex on the copy machine. work parties are always a little weird because you want people to relax but you don't want them to get too relaxed. one year, after our christmas party, my former assistant, i won't mention her name because i don't want to embarrass her, but her name is kerry. kerry got a little bit drunk and i mean, by a little bit, she got very drunk, and so i drove her home. and i knew i was in trouble because her first words after i loaded her into the car were "you know what's wrong with you?" and we went through a list of the things that are wrong with me, and i kept saying kerry, be quiet, but she got through all of them, so -- [ laughter ] and there were a lot.

a good rule of thumb at the holiday party is, don't say anything to your boss at all. even if you mean well, even if you say something nice like, thank you, keep it to yourself. write it in an e-mail the next day. and i'm going to issue a warning right now to everyone on our staff. anyone that comes up to me and asks, "do you even know my name," the answer is "yes, and you're fired." [ laughter ] so, unless you want to join the occupy movement, keep it light. [ applause ] i am taking bets on who will be the first to drunkenly tell me they love me. the smart money is on guillermo right now. right guillermo? >> yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: hey, guillermo brought his new baby into work today for the first time. i took a picture of him. this is -- that's little benjamin. he's two weeks old. i'll be honest, guillermo. he seemed a little drunk. he was unconscious the whole time. are you bringing him to the party tonight? >> no, he's too little. >> jimmy: oh okay. he's too little. to maybe next year? >> maybe. >> jimmy: maybe. did you like the holiday gift

that we gave you? >> yeah, i liked it. >> jimmy: every year, some of the producers and i chip in and we buy gifts for everyone we work with. this year, we gave everyone a backpack filled of things you need in an emergency. a first aid kit, one of those flashlight/radios that you crank by hand. so you don't need power. sort of thing you need if there's an earthquake or something. where are you keeping yours, guillermo? [ laughter ] >> i gave it to my uncle. >> jimmy: oh, you did? you gave it to your uncle, did you? >> yeah, well -- it's christmas, merry christmas. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> saved me a gift. >> jimmy: you know there was a $200 gift card in that thing, right? >> i didn't know. [ laughter ] it's okay. >> jimmy: all right. next year, just give us your uncle's address and we will ship the gift right to him. >> okay. >> jimmy: okay, very good. and if there's an earthquake, don't come to my house. i'm going to have everything boarded up. go to your uncle. >> all right, i will. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: christmas is ten days

away. i handed out a lot of gifts today and -- all of them were wrapped, by the way. i have a problem with gift bags. these gift bags -- i got one gift today that was wrapped and in a gift bag. now, that's the work of a crazy person, but -- [ laughter ] wrapping gifts is a pain. but the gift bag really is a copout. i spent 20 minutes -- i'm not good at wrapping, but i will wrap something so it's even on all the sides. meanwhile, people drop their gift in a bag, stuff it with colored kleenex and just hand it to me. it isn't fair. you know what, it would be like if you were going to the wedding and the wedding invitation said the dress code was black tie or sweat pants. i want my presents wrapped, not in sweat pants. okay? this is pretty funny. someone here found this on youtube today. this is an update on the holiday classic song "santa claus is coming to town," courtesy of a slightly twisted 2-year-old girl. ♪ you better watch out ♪ ♪ you better watch out ♪

♪ santa claus is about to kill you ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe she knows something. maybe she's one of those angel-faced devil kids from the movies. barbara walters named her ten most fascinating people of the year last night here on abc. the list included the kardashian family, donald trump, simon cowell and katy perry. is that a list of the most fascinating people or a list of the reasons the terrorists hate us? [ laughter ] bad year for fascination, i guess. i guess people are fascinated by the kardashians. they're so interesting. in every way. i have to admit, they did say one thing last night i thought had a lot of truth to it. did you happen to see this? >> like, none of us think we have talents. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: talent?

[ applause ] truth be told, the -- the ten most fascinating people weren't particularly fascinating. but i was determined to get some fascination, damn it, so, we combed through the special and we were able to put together one fascinating sentence. enjoy. >> when i was a little girl, the most important thing my dad said to me is that shrek is a colorful character who will always be funny and overweight and a nice person and very, very gay and should run the department of defense. >> what? >> jimmy: see, that's fascinating. [ applause ] tonight in sioux city, iowa, another debate between the seven republicans running for president. all your favorites were there. grumpy, dopey, the other dopey, romney, bashful. another dopey. and happy.

this was the 427th of 2,000 debates to be held between now and when president obama is re-elected. there are so many debates. you know, for a group of people who don't want the government interfering in our lives a lot, they interfere in our lives a lot. tonight's debate was sponsored and moderated by fox news. and at first i thought fox was being festive by having a snowman on stage, but about an hour in, i realized the big round white thing was newt gingrich. [ applause ] you know -- thank you. he's fat. every year around this time, santa calls me and he calls me and my cousin sal and asks us to help him out. his health isn't good. he' got type iii diabetes. so, every december, we put on our elf costumes we point up our ears and we help santa narrow down his list by asking kids whether they've been naughty or whether they've been nice. hi there. come on in. hello.

this is elf sal. i'm elf jimmy. have a seat. >> i'm ironman. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> i'm ironman. >> jimmy: ironman? oh, yes. i saw your movie. nice to meet you. >> ironman? put your hand on the bible, please. on top. do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god? >> yeah. >> good. >> jimmy: very good, ironman have you been good this year? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: tell me the good things you've done this year. >> i -- >> can i just talk to elf jimmy for a second? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i don't think this is ironman. >> jimmy: he says he's ironman. >> i saw the first, i didn't see the second one, i wasn't really paying attention -- >> jimmy: stand up here for a second. i want to feel your muscles to see if you really are ironman. oh. whoa. feel these guns. >> wow. you're on ster roipds like the rest of the yankees. >> jimmy: you're on steroids like the rest of the yankees. >> yeah.

>> jimmy: yeah. have you been very good this year? >> yeah. >> jimmy: both of you? >> yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: who has been more good? >> me. >> me. >> jimmy: oh. now, you say you. why do you say you? >> i put my hand up. >> jimmy: yeah well why do you think you've been more good? >> i would be more good. i stay in my bed and i would lay there. >> jimmy: okay. >> i stay in my bed and i was laying there and i get special treats. >> jimmy: you get a special treat? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what special treat do you get? >> vitamins. >> jimmy: vitamins? oh, boy. your parents are really working you over, aren't they? have you done any good things this year? >> yep. >> jimmy: done any bad things this year? >> i get punished a lot of times. >> jimmy: for what? >> because i'm mean to my sister. >> jimmy: mean to your sister. because she annoys you? >> yep. >> jimmy: how? >> she always whines a lot. >> jimmy: whines a lot. joel, your brother was just here

and he told us some interesting things. he says that sometimes you whine. >> that's true. >> jimmy: that's true? okay. what do you guys want for christmas this year? >> engine with buttons. >> jimmy: engines with buttons? >> kids watch. try button -- >> jimmy: kids watch towards the engine? >> no. kid watch and -- >> jimmy: kids wash back hole and -- >> no. and we want. >> jimmy: back sheet seekers? >> no -- >> jimmy: you don't want that. >> no. >> jimmy: so what do you want for christmas? >> i want justin bieber in my stocking. >> jimmy: you want justin bieber in your stocking. dead? >> no. >> jimmy: alive. >> what do you like about justin bieber? >> he's cute. >> jimmy: he's cute.

>> there's only one justin bieber in the world. >> we found three. >> jimmy: yeah. there are three. there's a canadian one, there's one from monroevia and a swedish one. >> i want the swedish. >> we all want the swedish. >> jimmy: we're going to work on getting you a swedish justin bieber. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. thanks, kids. they're all good on the inside. one more thing. all week, all year long at the end of the week, we pay tribute to the fcc by bleeping and bruring clips from television whether they need it or not. we call it "this week in unnecessary censorship." but tonight, we're going beyond the week to look back at a whole year of unintentional filth. here it is, "that year in unnecessary censorship, 2011." >> i told leaders of both parties that they must come up with a fair compromise that can pass both houses of congress. and a [ bleep ] that i can [ bleep ]. >> deep sea diver from here in

southern california says he wants to [ bleep ] the body of osama bin laden. >> i said, if she can [ bleep ] that [ bleep ] and call that sexual harassment, fine. >> [ bleep ] balls. >> i didn't really even think about it. too busy [ bleep ] and choking each other. >> i'm from colorado, so, i know that prison and pretty good [ bleep ], i got to tell you. >> is there anything men think -- really? really? >> right now, i want to give you the biggest [ bleep ] you ever got. >> you realize you [ bleep ] up about paul revere, don't you? >> nothing like flying across country with a hot dog in your [ bleep ]. >> recently my partner and i have opened the city's premiere [ bleep ] bar and vanity lounge. >> what are you going to do for us? >> we are going to [ bleep ] each other. >> pretty nice [ bleep ], huh? >> very large. >> where's the new member of the family? after all, if he's going to [ bleep ] my [ bleep ] some day, he better get to know me.

>> and finally, make sure you [ bleep ] the host of the party before you leave. and follow up with a hand [ bleep ]. ♪ >> no one goes over my bridge unless you [ bleep ] my [ bleep ]. >> don't worry red rooster, we can [ bleep ] his [ bleep ]. will you help us [ bleep ] his [ bleep ]? great! >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. lenny kravitz is here and we'll be right back with robert downey jr., so stick around. ♪ ding dong ding, dong ♪ ♪ hark how the bells, sweet silver bells all seem to say, ♪ ♪ throw cares away, christmas is here, bringing good cheer, ♪

♪ to young and old, meek and the bold, ding dong ding, dong, ♪ ♪ that is their song, with joyful ring all caroling, ♪ ♪ one seems to hear words of good cheer, from everywhere, ♪ ♪ filling the air oh how they pound, raising the sound, ♪ ♪ o'er hill and dale, telling their tale gaily they ring, ♪ ♪ while people sing songs of good cheer, christmas is here. ♪ ♪ merry, merry, merry, merry christmas ♪ [ male announcer ] since julia discovered the mccafé caramel mocha from mcdonald's, she's been expecting a little bit more out of...everything. with sweet caramel, rich chocolate, and smooth espresso the simple joy of big expectations. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ gasp ] [ mom ] my husband -- he thinks it's a 3-sheeter.ttéwmu.vog#wvs#q(p4á)uog5un(zé4bóá)hg0g6k$'jefpl,[f=aymh;l@e9xd

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season's greetings to each of you. tonight on the program, here to chat with us and play music from this, his latest album. it's called "black and white america," lenny kravitz from the bud light outdoor stage. but before we get to that, our first guest is an almost stupidly-talented actor. you know him from many films and now you know him from one more. "sherlock holmes: a game of shadows" opens in theaters tomorrow. please say hello to robert downey jr. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? how's it going? >> well. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: now -- now it's starting to get scary. >> i like it. >> jimmy: i heard you got sick on the way over here. you got car sick? >> you know what, i got a little nauseous. but i had ginger ale and crackers. >> jimmy: that's not very super heroic. you're in the back of the car and you got a little sick? >> almost never happens. i might launch them on your lap if you like. >> jimmy: that would be wonderful. >> i'm vulnerable. what can i say? i've been saying your name all day? >> jimmy: you have? why? >> just because. what are you doing today? jimmy kimmel. i say it on the way over. not that i was like, didn't know where i was going. >> jimmy: that's very strange for me. i have to say. >> very catchy. >> jimmy: speaking of vomiting -- >> yes. >> jimmy: we have our office christmas party after the show tonight. >> can i come? >> jimmy: absolutely you can come. you are most welcome. >> i just told you i don't feel well! be sensitive. >> jimmy: have you ever been -- you probably have not worked in an office, have you? >> well, you know, i have an office, a little company, and we have a christmas party coming

up. >> jimmy: oh, i see. do you make a speech? do you do one of those -- >> everybody wants me to make a speech all the time. which is -- guess what i want to do. >> jimmy: and? >> i -- do i have to go? >> jimmy: yeah, you have to. it's your company -- >> who is going to pay for this? >> jimmy: you have to pay for it, too. >> oh, all right. >> jimmy: you can't really make everyone pay for it. that wouldn't be much of a party. in fact that's a good way to ruin the company. [ laughter ] no, there are certain rules. >> are you like breaking off knowledge to me about business right now? >> jimmy: yeah, i am. and tell you why i know this. because i was a mobile dj in arizona and i did many office christmas parties. >> oh, wow. >> jimmy: and i saw many, many embarrassing incidents. i saw receptionists drunk with antlers on their head humping the i.t. guy and a drunken boss telling the employees that this cost too much and that he shouldn't have done it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. so don't do that. i know you don't drink, so that will be okay. >> yeah, it's been awhile. we can talk about some of the old rap parties or christmas

parties, if you want. >> jimmy: definitely. >> i don't remember them, jimmy. but i'm told -- >> jimmy: is that true? you really don't have memories of them? >> or i blocked them out. >> jimmy: either way. iter way you really don't remember -- >> why do you have to have an office party? and if you are going to have it, shouldn't you be jovial about it? not complaining about it on your own show? people are going to think you're a prick? >> jimmy: you don't have to have it. >> okay. >> jimmy: but if you do have it you have to go in positively. that's the rule. >> okay. >> jimmy: you can't complain about it. >> i feel like you're coaching me right now. >> jimmy: i am. i'm your new life coach. >> glad we could have our friends. >> jimmy: hey, you were at sting's birthday party. >> yes. >> jimmy: his 60th birthday party. >> it's weird to me. like, if i wasn't saying jimmy kimmel on the way over here, i'd be saying, i'm friends with sting. i can't believe i'm friends with sting. how did i get to be friends with sting? yeah, he turned 60. >> jimmy: how did you get to be friends with sting? >> well, it started -- i thought we were friends already. i served him peppermint tea in

1984 at a restaurant on west broadway in soho. he said "may i have some more tea?" and i was like, this guy digs me. we're going to be pals. he wants to hear my music. i'll probably be opening for him in six months. i came back and i felt like he threw me away. >> jimmy: he just wanted the tea. >> we became friends through his wife, my dear friend trudy. and so he had a big, basically did a concert at the beacon in new york for his 60th birthday. >> jimmy: rather than have someone else perform for him, he performed at his own party? >> it was a fund-raiser. >> jimmy: did you bring a gift? >> i got him nothing. >> jimmy: so you are very close. >> but that's what you get for the guy who has everything. >> jimmy: you have to, yeah. you can't really buy sting a gift. there's nothing that he wants. >> i could. but i was performing at the show and i was half emceeing it, i thought, this is crazy, i'm not also giving him a gift. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] he has the honor of singing with you -- >> why do i feel like we're having a closed anonymous conversation. he's going to hear this. >> jimmy: he probably won't hear

it. believe me, he's not watching. he may be your friend. but with me -- he's just sipping his tea some. where quietly. what about the holidays? do you celebrate christmas holiday? you have a regular traditional deal? >> sure. >> jimmy: you do? >> yep. >> jimmy: and you always have? because i don't know with you. because i know you do the martial arts and maybe you've got some strange -- >> so maybe i have a different christmas? no, you know -- just -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: knocking ornaments off trees. santa comes down the chimney, you kick him back up into the chimney. >> yeah. yep. it's all about combat. >> jimmy: you're having a baby soon? well your wife is. >> i know. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you knew this? >> she's doing all the work. obviously. i'm just sitting here. >> jimmy: will you be taking time off when the baby comes? >> yeah, i'll take as much time off as i can.

>> jimmy: i heard that you -- you have a rule where you only work three hours a day. is that true? [ laughter ] >> really? >> jimmy: i read that. >> oh, my god. that's a great rule. >> jimmy: it is. it seems like you wouldn't be able to get anything done. >> when i'm doing press, i commit to doing three hours because it's so exhausting. you talk about yourself and i can go home at night and susan, you know what, i just realized that i am really a special person. [ laughter ] you know? everyone wants to hear me talk about myself and my movies and they're really genuinely interested, every five minutes someone else comes in and asks me the same questions and they are just delighted by my answers. so how come when i come home i'm just some schmuck that left his socks in the hallway? >> jimmy: you have to set those interviews up in the home. >> i think i'm going to throw up now. is it too late? >> jimmy: it's never too late to throw up. it really isn't. i saw the movie and it is great. i really enjoyed it. it's -- [ applause ] a lot of action and the

characters are great. and your accent -- i don't know, i guess, because i'm not from england, but it seems like your accent is perfect. >> it is perfect, yes. >> jimmy: it is perfect. do you do the accent through the whole, like, when you are offcamera, do you stick with it the whole time? >> no, i am not a method actor. >> jimmy: you're not? >> i am a lazy person. [ laughter ] so, it's really good i have a job. it's not like i go to the set and go, hey, it's been three hours, i got to go home. we work super long hours, you know. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but the accent thing is, i have a really great dialect coach that i've known since chaplain and he just drills it into me. >> jimmy: is that the way he speaks or he just -- >> yeah, he speaks perfectly. so when he hears me not in accent, he finds it amusing but also repelling. >> jimmy: i see. and the last thing you want as an actor is to be that guy that everyone in london is in the theater laughing at. >> right. >> jimmy: yeah. like people make fun of dick van dyke's accent in, what, "mary

poppins." >> yes. >> jimmy: you don't want that. >> i don't want that. the main reason i became fairly good at dialects is, what you said. i do not want to be ridiculed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in a way, that's what fuels everything, isn't it? >> well, not all things, but that is the way you, you know, you speak. so, there's an alphabet that you learn, for r.p., which is received pronunciation. like, proper speak and it's -- he who would here and no know art must fight toil learn and take at ease. and i get a word and he goes -- >> jimmy: that is pretty good. >> yes, yeah, look. i -- i can retain 12 diphthongs. it's really not that difficult, either. >> jimmy: most people get to seven and that's about it. >> right. >> jimmy: you learned that in school or did you learn that on the set -- >> no, i learned that right before i did chaplain 20-some years ago. >> jimmy: that is unbelievable. that is amazing that you are actually learning things on the set of films.

you must be a special person. >> i'm very special. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we'll be right back. robert downey jr. is here. "sherlock holmes: a game of shadows" opens tomorrow. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] you've reached the age where you've learned a thing or two. this is the age of knowing what needs to be done. so why would you let something like erectile dysfunction get in your way? isn't it time you talked to your doctor about viagra? 20 million men already have. with every age comes responsibility. ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain, as it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects may include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing.

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have all my instructions been flawed? still read the official statement and leave it. it's a game, a shadowy game. they're playing cat and mouse, the professor and i. cloak and dagger. >> spider and fly.

>> i'm not a fly. i'm a cat. >> not a mouse but a dagger. you're drinking embalming fluid. >> yes. care for some? >> you do seem -- >> excited. >> manic. >> i am. >> verging on -- >> ecstatic. >> psychotic. i should have brought you a sedative. >> jimmy: robert downey jr. and jude law. "sherlock holmes." that's -- sherlock holmes is a character that a lot of people take very seriously, true? >> yeah. >> jimmy: the books, and you have to be -- you have to do things -- did sherlock holmes do martial arts in the books? >> yes, he did. he was a boxer, a single stick fighter and a master of the art of baritsu, which doesn't exist. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yes. >> jimmy: it's easy to be a master then. >> correct. a british guy named david barton went to japan and studyidyiedy

went to japan and studyidyiedy dyied and doyle changed it so it could be whatever he wanted it to be when he needed it. >> jimmy: you have a man on the set who makes sure you're being accurate to the book? >> we have an expert. it turns out the sherlock holmes expert is a tax lawyer who lives in malibu. i was like, where is this guy? i'll go anywhere i have to, pittsburgh, where is he? they go, he's about eight miles away from you. so i went up, he's fantastic. his name is les clinger and he's written all kinds of books and annotated editions of sherlock holmes books. i guess i dropped the ball. he was very upset. he said -- i don't even know what to say. i was like, les, what happened? what happened? you said, you called him john. i was like john watson. that's his name. he would never call him john. only call him watson or mr. watson. [ laughter ] and i can't believe we let that

slide. >> jimmy: ruin the movie. >> that's what we got wrong, we're okay. >> jimmy: yeah, really. you should intentionally call him john just to screw with that guy over and over again. >> you know, it didn't feel right when i said it. i should have trusted my instinct. but thank god there's experts. people take doyle's interpretation of the characters so seriously. they are fantastic books. i don't know how many of you have read the books -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: oh, stop. they're all lying. all of you are lying. i will round every one of you up and we will quiz you. you are lying. look at them. they're lying. they don't have any idea who sherlock holmes is. >> look, i'm not saying i read them. >> jimmy: they don't know katie holmes, never mind sherlock holmes. well, it's great to see you. the movie is fantastic. guy ritchie directed it. it's called "sherlock holmes: a game of shadows," it opens tomorrow. robert downey jr., everybody. we'll be right back with lenny

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jimmy: hi there. and welcome back. our next guest is a multi-platinum selling and grammy-winning artist despite his repulsive appearance. his latest album, "black and white america." it is in stores now. please welcome lenny kravitz. [ cheers and applause ]

how are you? god to see you. hey, what do you celebrate? because you are half jewish and half not jewish, right? >> ah -- if that's how you want to put it, yeah. >> jimmy: it is how i want to put it, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you celebrate everything or nothing? >> i celebrated everything as a child. >> jimmy: that's great. that's the greatest. >> yeah. >> john: that's nine days of christmas, yeah, sure. >> double holiday. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. that's pretty good. and have you ever been -- you started performing when you were young. have you been to an office christmas party? >> i never worked in an office. >> jimmy: you didn't. wow. >> but if i did, i probably wouldn't be very good. at office christmas parties. >> jimmy: why? >> i don't drink very much. >> jimmy: oh, i see. i see. that's probably a good thing. have you ever been drunk? >> once. >> jimmy: what happened? >> i was 7.

>> jimmy: for real? that's younger than drew barrymore, i think. [ laughter ] >> i was 7. i went to a hanukkah party -- >> jimmy: okay. >> for the jewish side. >> jimmy: uh-huh, okay. >> as you might have figured. and this cousin of mine got a bottle of -- >> jimmy: it's always a cousin, isn't it? >> right? and i didn't know what it was but it looked like grape juice and i was a big fan of grape juice. we went behind this stairwell in the temple, right? and there's about three of us and we have this bottle. and we're drinking it and passing it around, i'm thinking, this doesn't really taste like welch's. [ laughter ] but i'm going with it. because i'm the youngest one. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> problem was, before i drank the bottle, i'd eaten a plate load of pig in the blankets.

>> john: okay. this was a very traditional -- >> kosher, of course. [ laughter ] >> joe: well, that's the black side. [ cheers and applause ] >> joe: pork pig in the blanket. and so i'm driving home with my parents. they're taking my back to brooklyn to my african-american grandparents house. which is where i was staying. and i'm thinking, i'm not feeling too good. and i'm laying on the backseat and things are starting to spin, i don't know what's going on. so i get to my grandparents house, and this is going on and on, isn't it? >> jimmy: i'm interested. >> i get to my grandparents house and i'll never forget because that's how traumatic it was. the walton's christmas special was on the television, right? and i got up to turn the volume up and i threw up all over the television. >> jimmy: you vomited on the waltons? >> i threw up on john boy.

>> jimmy: oh, my god. >> i was in bed for a week after that. i was really sick. >> john: wow. >> i got really ill and that's why i don't go to conference holiday parties. >> jimmy: maybe that's what parents should be doing. >> getting their kids drunk at temple? >> jimmy: yeah, 7 years old and you never do it again. >> joe: exactly. >> john: that must have been a miserable week for you to never drink again, that's crazy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i heard that you -- and is this true, you live in a airstream trailer on the beach in the bahamas? >> i do. >> jimmy: that is awesome. >> isn't it? >> jimmy: it really is. i love those little silver trailers. [ cheers and applause ] >> john: is there a house -- like is your daughter there in the trailer? >> my daughter is going to meet me there for christmas. >> jimmy: you guys stay in the trailer? >> well -- i have a little shack for her. >> jimmy: a shack? >> yeah. well, because she has friends and stuff. >> jimmy: okay. >> she stays in the shack. >> jimmy: nice to have plumbing that's attached to something. >> yeah. you know. >> jimmy: what do you do on the beach in the trailer?

>> nothing. >> jimmy: nothing. >> beautiful. >> jimmy: do you go fishing and stuff? >> we fish. we have an organic garden. you know. hang out. it's a time to just get away from everything. >> jimmy: that sounds great. >> i've been on tour for months and months. >> jimmy: you are on tour a lot. >> and i made a film before that and i made the movie -- i mean and the album before that, so i've been working for two years straight. >> jimmy: the movie, "hunger games." you have a big part. >> yeah, that movie "hunger games." >> john: that'sing about to be a big deal. when does that come out? >> march 23rd. >> jimmy: that's a lot of fun. and also, i think this is interesting, you have a design company and you designed this box for a sushi restaurant. you really designed that? >> yeah. it's funny you show that, but -- yeah. >> jimmy: i don't know. >> no, well, that's the last job i did, but yeah, we -- actually interior design company, but we also do graphics and all kinds of things. >> jimmy: are you involved in the interior design? >> completely. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, we're doing hotels -- we're doing -- >> jimmy: you are michelangelo with a nose ring. it's unbelievable.

unbelievable. [ applause ] now, i want to ask you about -- where is -- oh, the album here. your album, you got jay-z on the album with you, drake is on the album with you. but i do have a bone to pick with you. let's take a look at this photograph. this is you as a kid. how old are you here? >> that was 7. that was right after i threw up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is what your cousins did to you. they drew on your face. but i do feel like this is, in a way, kind of a rip-off of an album i put out a few years ago, which is -- this is my own. this is from when i was a young boy. but -- >> wait, wait, that says virgin? >> jimmy: yes. and for good reason. >> you know i'm leaving with that. i'm going to hang that up -- >> jimmy: let that be my hanukkah christmas gift to you. >> you have to sign it for me. that's really good, man. >> jimmy: you -- [ applause ]

okay, so, you got, you're acting, you're still touring -- >> by the way, you are looking really handsome. >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> did you get some new skin products, because you're glowing. >> jimmy: no, it just went out in the sun. well, you know, i have a trailer on the beach. >> you lost a few pounds. >> jimmy: yeah. are you coming on to me? because i can be had. [ laughter ] let's go to the christmas party afterwards, i will show you everything. we'll drink a bottle -- >> exactly. >> jimmy: it will be wild. are you going to play for us outside? >> it's cold, man. >> jimmy: it is cold, i know. >> it's cold. >> jimmy: it's your job to heat everyone up. >> yeah, we're going to go outside. >> john: it could be worse. it's l.a. how cold does it really get? what is it, 40 degrees outside? >> it's pretty cold. i'm used to the bahamas. >> john: that's right, you are. you are going to have to fire through it. that's what we need from you. >> i'm happy to be here. >> jimmy: all right. lenny kravitz will be steaming up l.a. this is his new album. oh, no, wait. this is his new album. "black and white america" is out now.

we'll be right back with music from lenny kravitz.

[ male announcer ] it's a rule of nature. you don't decide when vegetables reach the peak of perfection. the vegetables do. at green giant we pick vegetables only when they're perfect. then freeze them fast so they're are as nutritious as fresh. [ green giant ] ho ho ho. ♪ green giant ♪ progresso. it fits! fantastic! [ man ] pro-gresso they fit! okay-y... okay??? i've been eating progresso and now my favorite old jeans...fit. okay is there a woman i can talk to? [ male announcer ] progresso. 40 soups 100 calories or less. >> jimmy: this is his latest album. it's called "black and white america." here with the song "come on get it," lenny kravitz.

♪ ♪ ♪ i know that you are mine come on go and get it i won't waste your time come on come on and get it ♪ ♪ i feel like a canine come on come on and get it can i eat from your vine girl come on and get it ♪ ♪ i'm in love with your love and i'm comin' to get it you know i can't turn it down i gotta jump in it ♪

♪ you know i can't feel the ground `cause i'm high on the spirit you know i'm drunk for ♪ ♪ your love and you know that i need it yeah come on and get it ♪ ♪ come on and get it i want to drink your wine girl come on and get it ♪ ♪ can i go from behind love it come on and get it i will please to the nines come on come on and get it ♪ ♪ till you release your mind girl come on and get it i'm in love with your love and i'm comin to get it ♪ ♪ you know i can't turn it down i gotta jump in it you know i can't feel the ground cause i'm ♪

♪ high on the spirit you know i'm drunk for your love and you know that i need it ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm in love with your love and i'm comin' to get it you know i c